Finding My Inner Chuck Norris

So, as part of my "get a life outside the law" plan, I actually went out this weekend to have some fun. On the agenda was a bit of shopping I needed to do - which led me to a great discovery. While in the store, I stumbled on a Chuck Norris poster that lists a number of facts that all fellow humans should know. Here's a sampling:

- Chuck Norris does not mow his yard. He stares at the grass and dares it to grow.

- Chuck Norris has a vacation house. On the sun.

- The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way. ONCE.

- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

- Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip.

And so on and so on . . . you get the point. Despite the fact that I am almost 30 years old, it took a great deal of restraint not to snap that thing up right there (ok, I admit it, I'm still thinking of going back for it). The only thing that held me back was where could I put this thing in my apartment without people knowing? Which leads me to my next genius thought - the Chuck Norris meditation. Insert your name instead of Chuck Norris in each of these sentences and you too can feel a sense of superpower welling up in you. I'm thinking it would be a great meditation before going into court. And I'm also thinking I'm going back for that poster.