How much time have I spend on hold? Let me count the ways . . .

As I sit on hold with my dumb mortgage company, I wonder to myself: how many minutes, hours, maybe even days of my life have I spent slogging through phone trees, listening to really bad hold music designed to sedate my will to argue, and using my "inside voice" with intellectually challenged customer service representatives to achieve what should have already happened in the first place? On second thought, I don't think I want to know.

While I'm on the subject, let me take a moment to decry the usage of what I call the "defensive phone tree." In the good old days (1990's), you could just press "0" when you were tired of dealing with a robotic jerk and wanted to speak to a real one. Not so now. The phone tree wants to negotiate with you. It wants to understand. It "just needs some information" to direct you to the "right" person.

Here's her new ploy. In response to "0" she says sweetly, "I'm sorry I didn't understand -" [me pressing "0" again] - "I'm sorry, I still didn't under-" [me pressing "0" again fervently, repeatedly, angrily]. I do that about six more times before she pauses and (no joke) says:

"Are you sure you want to speak to a customer service representative?"

Do I press "1" for "Hell, yes"?

Results for the July 2008 Texas Bar Exam Posted

Congrats to the new army of lawyers who passed the July 2008 exam . . . as a former comrade, I know well the anxiety and fear that was just relieved today!! But as Above the Law notes, this is a invitation to be careful what you wish for - if you have any doubts, check my post on I Contemplate a Nervous Breakdown . In other words, now begins the hard stuff - that you may truly and impartially administer justice. But for tonight, we celebrate!!