Finding My Inner Chuck Norris

So, as part of my "get a life outside the law" plan, I actually went out this weekend to have some fun. On the agenda was a bit of shopping I needed to do - which led me to a great discovery. While in the store, I stumbled on a Chuck Norris poster that lists a number of facts that all fellow humans should know. Here's a sampling:

- Chuck Norris does not mow his yard. He stares at the grass and dares it to grow.

- Chuck Norris has a vacation house. On the sun.

- The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way. ONCE.

- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

- Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip.

And so on and so on . . . you get the point. Despite the fact that I am almost 30 years old, it took a great deal of restraint not to snap that thing up right there (ok, I admit it, I'm still thinking of going back for it). The only thing that held me back was where could I put this thing in my apartment without people knowing? Which leads me to my next genius thought - the Chuck Norris meditation. Insert your name instead of Chuck Norris in each of these sentences and you too can feel a sense of superpower welling up in you. I'm thinking it would be a great meditation before going into court. And I'm also thinking I'm going back for that poster.

On the Move Again

With my impending vacation just four days away, and my move to a new apartment scheduled for the day after I return, I decide to get serious about the process of packing my life into little 2' x 2' boxes.

Moving, for me at least, is a very illuminating process, and given that I seem to be doing it every couple of months lately, that's a lot of self-examination. With each move, I find myself examining this collection of things that I cart around with me, shedding the things that no longer serve me, and entertaining new visions of what I would like to create instead. What surprises me most is not the things that I want to keep, but the sheer number of things I could care less whether they make it to the new destination in one piece. While my sister is a very meticulous packer and preservationist (read: Pack RAT), I find only a few things give me pause enough to really pack them carefully: a set of candle holders that have illuminated some of my most beautiful memories; family photos in frames carefully chosen by loved ones; a set of pots that my mother bought for me for no reason other than she wanted to surprise me with a gift.

I throw away (and give away) a lot of things when I move. My sister, god bless her, is always right behind me, rescuing things from the trash with a disapproving shake of the head and a "You can't throw that away!" or my favorite, "But you could get money for that!" I could, but really, who cares? For me, those things are a remnant of a life already lived, a relic of the past rather than a part of the future I want to create. And my giveaways create a virtual free-for-all of joy on CraigsList - people calling me at 11:40 at night to come get the free desk or set of left-handed golf clubs. It makes me happy to see those things go onto their new life with no deals, bargaining, or money changing hands. My favorite part is meeting the wonderful people who come to pick up my stuff: parents who needed a desk for their teenage son; a family of five who obviously didn't have much money but were estatic about new couches; a husband who wants to share his love of golf with his wife. Those moments are, in the words of the credit card commercial, priceless.

I Join the 21st Century

It was painful, but it's here. I finally succumbed and upgraded to the new-fangled IPhone. Three hours, two software updates, and one phone call to customer service later, I am finally up and running. Who says technology doesn't save you time? I'm sure that once I figure this thing out (by which time, it will probably be obsolete), it will enhance my life, my work, and generally bring peace and tranquility to an otherwise fretful existence. For now, I'd be excited to figure out how to turn the thing on.

My new geeky habit

Ok, so many beloved friends and family have been encouraging me to get a life outside the practice of law. And I'm working on it, I promise. It's just hard - I'm a geek at heart.

Two weeks ago, I had a serious setback in my road to recovery from geekhood. In other contexts, some would call it "falling off the wagon" or "taking a wrong turn."

I discovered the media website of the United States Supreme Court, Oyez (pronounced "oh-yay"). I am now officially addicted to listening to past oral arguments before the Supreme Court justices. Yes, it sounds strange, but here's why it's cool. These are some of the best lawyers in the country arguing a case before our nation's highest court. The questions come fast and furious, and the advocates are simultaneously responding to the questions, educating the justices, and outlining the contours of a new rule of law. They are wickedly brilliant, prepared, and eloquent; the NFL rockstars of law if you will.

I'm hoping the theory of osmosis has some teeth to it and I'll absorb some of it. If nothing else, it's a fantastic crash course in the precedents governing a particular area of the law. Plus, each argument is capped at an hour - perfect learning blocks for our ever-growing ADHD culture. Even I can pay attention, and I have the attention span of a gnat.

My only beef: like any addict, I want it now. Unfortunately for me, and despite the fact that it is the year 2007, the Supreme Court does not release audio of arguments until the end of the term unless the Chief Justice grants special permission to release the audio recording early. The Court grants such permission where particular public interest exists in a case, such as the cases of Boumediene v. Bush and Al Odah v. United States, both Guantanamo detainee cases scheduled for argument on December 5, 2007 (yes folks, our own internationally-condemned-affront-to-human-rights-torture-facility is still operating and NO, as of right now, you can't get a court to review your case to determine whether you should in fact be imprisoned).

While I seriously question whether the general public has any significant interest in the arguments in this case (it will probably be buried as the fourth story in the nightly news, right after an update on Lindsay Lohan's progress in rehab), I'll take what I can get. C-SPAN has requested, and received, permission to access a recording of the argument the same day.

In anticipation, I've already blocked off the evening of December 5th on my work calendar, and will be waiting with whiskey/coke and popcorn in hand for the broadcast to begin. Relapse never felt so good.

The class of 2005 begins what will hopefully be a long legacy of tail kicking

Big congrats to my law school buddy Isaac Leventon on his WINNING JURY VERDICT last Friday! After crushing and defeating his colleagues in trial competitions throughout law school, Mr. Leventon has now taken his skillz to the streets with the firm of Hartline, Dacus, Barger, Dreyer & Kern, L.L.P. (yes, it really does have that many names and sadly, if I worked there, I would not be able to tell you where I worked - another big plus for me of working at a small firm). This jury verdict marks the beginning of what many are calling "the initial spurt of what will likely be a prolonged tail-kicking streak." Way to go!